HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE MYSELF
Sandra Pearl, 36, from West Virginia.
Having suffered abuses in my childhood such that I couldn't talk to anyone about it, I was always sad and couldn't relate with my friends because of how happy and innocent they appeared. Somehow, that consciousness grew with me and developed into low self-esteem and that I couldn't speak to anyone. I couldn't have friends ’cause I felt everyone else was better than me, coupled with the fact that I was ugly and without natural beauty.
I felt like a bird that was locked in a cage. I could see the things happening outside but was not allowed to be a partaker of those beautiful things. I hated myself and my life but I was never bold enough to end it. I once lost my job because of emotional instability.
One day, I came across an advertisement that called for volunteers. Being without a job, I decided to get busy with the job. It was a childcare home and I worked with them. Working with the children at this organization helped to bury my trauma of the past. By developing ways to help the children to look at the brighter hope of life, consciously and unconsciously, I buried my problem. Together, we talked about things and we tried to find beauty in everything. We learned that difficulties can open doors to opportunities if only we see the uniqueness in us and ways to overcome the possibilities.
There is a beauty in everything we only have to open up to see them. Through my love for these children, I was eager to help them. And by helping them, I realized everyone deserves a chance to be happy, no matter their background. I learned to forgive myself.
There are a natural beauty and balance in everyone; we just have to be kind enough to trigger them. This is my journey to feeling a positive and good energy that brought me to a place of internal calm and peace.