Jennifer Aiello, 26, Los Angeles

God knows how much I hurt myself, how I don't appreciate myself…is it’s just awful. I have this trait from a small age; to look at what others have and to feel that I am always not good enough, I always live in the feeling that I did not get the qualities, beauty or luck that others have.
I wish I didn't live during the Smartphone period! The fact is that I see what others do all day,  how many likes and comments they got, who they spend their time with,  what they eat, what they buy, and so on.

These comparisons exist not only with my friends, but also with my sister, my co-workers. I was always interested in what grade they got, who they go with, what vehicle they drive, where they went on vacation, and so on. To me, that is what matter!  

How many times a day do I fall into this trap?  The "comparison trap", it caused me a lot of moments of anxiety, jealousy and unhappiness. How many times a day does the thought “he or she is better than me" caused me great suffering? Honestly, I made myself a slave to this thought…always in worry. My inner joy died. My beauty faded, the energy meant for it has been used for worry. I was trapped by comparison, and it wasn’t easy being so.

When I think about it logically, I realized that this mindset leads to great destruction. I was convinced that I have done more harm than good to myself. On a critical thought, I discovered that each of us has where he or she is better than others. We also have were we are less good too.

 Now, I think of myself as an independent entity. One that is capable of producing power and love of my own because I am smart enough, beautiful and successful. There is really no reason why I will not succeed. Deciding to stop abusing myself, I focus on thinking about the things that make me stand out and strengthen me.

I am beautiful, I am healthy, I am special, I am smart, and I am accomplished.  These are what I always tell myself… On the other hand, I also try to see the good in others as well. I do not make comparisons any more nor worry myself… The wisdom is to know what is unique about you. To know that you are different from others and that others are different from you.

I am now trying to feed myself with love and respect… Wish me luck ..

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  1. Why do I feel like I am the one being described here, I am always conscious of everything happening around me. The littlest things get to me and most times it gets me depressing. When I see my friends from university days, I feel very unhappy with myself because I feel like I am not putting effort. Thank God I came across this piece on Daphne's site, now I feel alright.

  2. Now here is my candid advice, the earlier you realize that you are in competition with no one, the better. The only competition you have is yourself. No matter what happens, no matter what is going on, always try to stay happy always.

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